More Fish Fun

 

 

 

     SO-last semester I took a photojournalism course with the wonderful Maggie Steber who has photographed for a slew of publications including National Geographic. She was incredibly liberal when it came to our final project (you'll see exactly how liberal after you see this) and allowed me to do a fictional fashion story. Though it was more fiction that fashion, this project allowed me to really figure out how to manipulate a camera (at least for the beginner that I am, hah!). I love experimenting with artificial nonsense, marginally offensive coloration, and odd angles, so through this project I attempted to tie exactly those elements into a story that would in the end be what was only just a dream. The story is based on mockery of the "rags to riches"and "regular human to superhuman" story where a regular individual is swept off the streets and kidnapped by complete strangers as they attempt to transform that person into the super being of their choice. Of course, being myself, I couldn't do just that. That's simply too normal. So, I had a few thousand chats with my photo professor and twisted the story into one that would end in a new and absurdly baffling/almost-irritating-because-you-wished-she-was-a-superhero kind of way. I did Morgan's (the main character) makeup and hair in all of four minutes as we scrambled into the School of Communication's restroom to allow her to throw her clothing on before the sun went down and I turned into a werewolf (actually, I needed a sunset scene that was a "Goldilocks 'Just Right'" setting for my mysteriously set photo shoot).
     The first outfit Morgan wears is a sheer, hot salmon, collared shirt tucked into a high slit maxi skirt tied to the side with combat boots and excessive jewelry to give her the boho chic, just-picked-off-the-street appeal. She then transitions into an "overly" super hero outfit with a black blazer with zippers around the waist, a black fur vest, a blue stretch shirt, a black leather leggings, blue pumps, and of course my favorite large black necklace. As she decides to toss the fancy schmancy threads, she hastily throws on a yellow artist tank under the black fur vest with my pink, spiked, seashell necklace and some Nikes with supa swagga that she just happened to own. Convenience at its finest. Enjoy the show, laugh at my novice photography skills, and as a fashion fish, use my incompetence to to make yourself look that much more competent.

Trouble Shooting for Your Esophagus

     "Katie, why on earth do you pull your hair back and cut it short?! Just shave it all off and get it over with, already!" Kind words such as these have been muttered to me by individuals who will remain unnamed for now and remain strangely applicable to the subject of cuffs and why you are going to go out right after this and purchase one.
     I am a necklace person. I wear giant, colorful necklaces that more than likely offend my employers, family members, and friends alike. I like to serve myself a big cup of lazy in the morning and perceivably spruce a rather ordinary outfit with an beautifully obnoxious statement necklace. Today was the day I did not feel like doing that. I no longer felt the urge to sport a heavy, jangling accessory around my throat. Instead, I reached into my drawer and grabbed a cuff. This gold cuff is absolutely overwhelmed with beautifully colored fake gems of every conceivable kind. It stays put on my arm, makes no noise, and could serve as an excellent defense mechanism. So, with my hot salmon colored sweater (that seems to be my color nowadays), army green pants, and nude flats with an unexpected hind bejeweling, I threw on my new cuff. No necklace, no nothin'. 
    The point I am trying to relate to my hair cut story will make sense within approximately twelve seconds. Basically, if you want to go for the less-is-more, low maintenance look that girly mothers usually disapprove of, throw on a cuff. Another favorite of mine, though I do not know if it yet exists, is a rounded off, concave, nude, plastic cuff to go with everything. A color that many people may associate with nothingness that also may provoke thoughts such as "why are you even wearing it if I can barely see it" can actually bring any outfit out. Instead of wearing a newly old-fashioned silver bracelet with a pop color outfit, throw on a nude cuff or bangle. Rather than showing people that you are Bar Mitzvah ready, you will find people appreciating your newly chic style.
     The moral of the story remains this: cuffs sporting million dollar jewels and even simple ones may now both reside peacefully on the bare arm of any accessory-frustrated individual. Wear them while taking a law exam, wear them to accounting class (I just did), wear them to dinner, and wear cuffs with a newly and happily freed esophagus.

I'm out.

So...I'M BACK to Restart and Now I Love SCARVES

     Though it has been a while since my last post, I am back in school, back on track, refraining from excessive drug abuse, and ready to resume bloggedy blogging. In the past few months, I have found my mind subconsciously deciding to nudge me in the scarf-loving/generically European direction. This mindset and lifestyle is all inclusive of comfortable, all concealing, flowing fabrics that I pair with just about everything. 

     Dressing like a man is apparently in these days, and I like to spend my time outfitting my body to match that of a male homosexual or an on-the-edge European. This dress, for me, is usually demonstrated through the wearing of slouchy, cuffed jeans, a plain t-shirt, and superb black satin and patent leather Converse like sneakers. I throw scarves, just as the one pictured (by Tasha), around my neck in a choker hold that would allow any passerby to easily and successfully cut off my air flow and send me to the ground unconscious. And who doesn't want that? 

     Although the female wearing the beautiful scarf I treasure looks thoroughly displeased to be photographed with such a piece of fabric around her neck, I wear it with a smile and orange lipstick (only on the occasional Tuesday, though). I have discovered, after pairing the two colors together, that this female looks unhappy because of her lack of the extra pop color. Fashion today is not only about one pop color, but more recently about two and a neutral, offsetting tone. If bright lipstick sinks your sail boat throw on a chunky necklace on with that bright scarf. I like to wear my pastel pink, spiky seashell necklace that has everyone calling me Pebbles but many people may consider a simple chain necklace wrapped around a few times to be more than sufficient. Wear scarves on the weekend. Wear scarves with a casual dress. Wear scarves with no weekend or casual dress. Any way you want it, scarves are what you need it (that variation of the song doesn't really work, but my point has been quite made). 

Roll...tribe!

     Proenza Schouler: one of my favorite designers, large fan of printed everything, live to dye...cool colored clothing that is. This season, alongside many of their peers, Lazardo Hernandez and Jack McCollough sought inspiration from tribal patterns, except they, as usual, did it better. What other pair of designers would make a pair of printed velvet pants and super-conservatively cut everythings that I would...dye to wear ;) ?
     When wearing tribal patterns, unless one is actually a Native American, I would assume they do not want to appear as though they skin bulls as an extracurricular. Proenza Schouler interpreted this print in a modern and surprisingly chic manner...no calf-skinnin' nomads here.
     The asymmetrically cut everything in this collection has me wanting more more more! What better to modernize the intensity of tribe culture than sharp edges and precise angles? The combination of drool-worthy colors and delicious angles makes for one desirable looking fashion cupcake...and who doesn't love a cupcake (if you don't, keep it to yourself)?? Every color reminds me a little more of Mondo Guerra from Project Runway season 8 and how his final collection was inspired by Mexico and Day of the Dead. The teal threaded skirt especially adds to the wild tribal feel with a tightened and fit edge.
     Want to try out the tribal look? If you especially want to add a modern edge, make sure not to pair colored tribal patterns with hippie jewelry or gladiator sandals. In such a case, one may appear to actually be a Native American. People may approach you and ask if you have wandered out of the reservation and if they could direct you to your horse. Instead, pair a tribal piece with a structured top or bottom to bring this look to the city...or suburb at least. Billowing blouses and dream catcher necklaces will only make you look exponentially more lost and confused. All you need at that point is a feather in your hair and a Captain John to accompany you to a night on the town...I mean reservation casino.
    
     

Velvet-people still wear that?

     The deadly fabric only seen on people over 60 with no style who are lost in a decade that no one can seem to find: velvet. Was velvet ever an all around popular fabric that found a way to flatter everyone? Whose fuzzy fetish invoked the creation of this heavy, old, and dusty-lookin' fabric? Without even having to answer these questions, I found myself stumbling upon a few looks that *gasp* used velvet incredibly well! Velvet pants have found their place in Carlos Miele's Fall/Winter 2011 collection as well as a braided dress that I have even seen on a few celebrities! The rich nude and jewel tones make sure that this "predisposed to look cheap" fabric looks flowy, comfortable, and luxurious. The three-quarter length fur coat sleeves helps balance out the velvet pants instead of weighing them down with a "abominable snowman/no one is escaping off this runway" full length disaster. 

     My only remaining concern is for the person wearing that dress; I suppose one may be able to shed a few pounds while wearing a dress as heavy as that one. Perhaps the girdle-like structure also juices the flab out of you as you are effortfully gliding down the red carpet? As a warning, be sure to wear extra-powerful deodorant; velvet is not the breeziest fabric and unless one merely glistens instead of sweats under multiple layers of thick, chunky fabric, it is best advised to layer on the thick, chunky coats of deodorant as well! 

     To take these looks to the streets (in a classy way, of course), pair a velvet top or bottom that does not fully cover or swallow your figure with a breezy silk blouse or skirt. Keep accessories light and do not wear velvet black pumps to match. Black will only add weight to this already heavy fabric. Looking like you tried too hard would be the understatement of the year in such a case. Try neutral shoes to allow the velvet to speak for the outfit. Chunky and chunky don't make flattering so keep this suave fabric to minimum use in each outfit for the maximum appeal! 

     

LOOKS LIKE...A.F. Vandevorst is ready to tame some wild animals!

     I've always been a large fan of collections inspired by the wild and hunting, although when I have seen such collections in the past, they were frequently inspired by the hunter rather than the huntee; in this case, that would be a fox, rabbit, or raccoon of sorts. I find myself oddly drawn to this Fall 2011 collection by A.F. Vandevorst regardless of the fact that the models literally have fur tails sprouting out of their rears and leather ropes/belts tied around them in a way that makes me feel like this hunt is over. The "belt cages" constructed to encase the furry tails is a detail I find especially peculiar. If I was an animal, I don't quite understand how I would use the restroom with my hind part encased! Fortunately, I am not an animal with such an anatomy and neither are the models; this may make it slightly more acceptable to the designer and may allow a sense of relief to travel through his body as he comes to the realization that yes, his models will be able to use the restroom with ease.
     Now-all tails aside, let's discuss the rest of this beautiful collection (joke?). I never realized the endless amount of ways a basic black coat could be tweaked until seeing this collection. Asymmetry was taken to a triple-max as each variation of a winter coat went down the runway. I especially love the pleating, rouching, and folding that each garment possessed (I go nuts for the architectural stuff). The stunning combination of the navy silk and blue fur in the second look is a rich ensemble that I would do a good amount of manual labor to wear. My favorite piece in the collection? That odd little belt/harness-like deal in the first look. Though I am not too sure as to what it really is, let's be real: how incredible does it look on that girl? And, it is oddly enough wearable by a large audience of individuals (even though I'm not sure how many would actually purchase and wear it!).
     Overall, A.F. Vandy did a wonderful job bringing out the stray animal in me. I would gladly wear any of these pieces, no matter how many nervous hunters I would have to rabbit hop away from. To take this look from fox to foxy, try one piece of fur or one of the new belt solutions. Pair that with a silk top and structured jacket. Make sure to add some texture to get a "thrown together but still effortlessly stylish" look that everyone will envy!

LOOKS LIKE...Anna Sui is attempting to instill the "Hobby Holly" (and more) spirit in the fashion world

     Blink. I pause the runway show I am currently watching to take a step back and make a face with an eyebrow raise or two and a quite puzzled expression in my eyes. I never blink when I watch a runway show...unless it is this one. It all started out quite nicely with an eclectic mixture of black and white patterns and textures with a few wild accessories here and there. Then it happened: first the Hulk, then the Hobo, then, the worst, little Miss Hobby Holly."
     Let's go through the phases in this collection so that you may come to the same realization as I did amidst perusing the pieces in this collection. Maybe it was the Ugg-styled boots that had me sticking out my tongue in surprise/mild horror. Then again, it could have been the "high-fashion" teacher dress that had me squirming in my sleep. Either way, here we go!
     Honestly, I love super hero movies. I'm an action movie kind of girl and love the thrill I get when the super hero swoops down and takes out a bad guy or two. As a matter of fact, I am currently watching the Batman movies for the fourth time as I slightly unsuccessfully multitask with this post. Apparently, Anna Sui found it fitting to recreate this idea, the Hulk in this case, and throw it right onto the runway. Why I ask is it acceptable to pair green and purple together with a supposed "tribal" and "cultural" pattern that Sui has been said to use? Any celebrity that would wear a purple and green poncho or a pair of purple and green tights would end up on the "Worst Dressed" list as fast as the next issue of any publication went to print. "RAHRRR" to you Miss Sui; for now, I would like to wear and launder my purples and greens separately, thank you.
     As for the long green, Christmas-style "teacher dress," no comment can be made to properly justify why this was made, what creature would wear it, and since when is Christmas proudly displayed on the runway? Leanne from season 5 of Project Runway would laugh at this: she, too had to make a teacher dress. "One sexy teacher dress, comin' up."
     Pink, brown, swirls, and furry animals. Let's not put them all together in one outfit. Oh wait, it's been done. Surprise? The days of middle school: as stated in an earlier post, they were filled with outfits consisting of blue and brown. Pink and brown is included in this. DON'T DO IT! I suppose I could force myself to like a certain combination of such colors if they were utilized in the proper way, but for most cases, especially inclusive of this one, such a feat is proving to be impossible.
     Special news report: Miss Hobby Holly seen here strutting down the runway. Wasn't Angela from season 3 of Project Runway kicked off for a reason (she felt it acceptable to sew patchy flowers on the buttocks of a crinkly fabric pair of shorts paired with a shirt I swore I wore at the age of 12)?? Layering "tack on tack" is not okay! If a shirt has an unfortunate appearance, do you take the liberty of sticking buttons and patches on it? Well, Hobby Holly would and apparently so would Anna Sui! Rainbow tweed, pink bows, and checkered everything=YUCK. Did Sui's stream of thought include "let's add some fishnets to chic this up a bit and call it on a day?" Once Hobby Holly has been re-birthed and released, there is not much help to be given. The deep pink Ugg-like boots add insult to injury as each model proceeds to walk down the runway looking like a brightly colored hobo who happens to be largely intrigued by arts and crafts. With all respect to Sui's past designs, I sadly have to retract positive feelings towards this collection (for the most part). I am a store and Anna Sui's Fall 2011 collection is a credit card that has been...declined :).